What Does Feeling Your Feelings Actually Look Like?
“Just feel your feelings.”
You’ve probably heard it before, from a friend, therapist, or your social feed. But what does it actually mean to feel your feelings?
As a therapist, I can tell you this: emotional processing is more than crying on the bathroom floor or journaling about your bad day. It’s a relational act with yourself.
In a world that rewards emotional suppression and productivity, slowing down enough to feel your feelings is a radical, healing practice.
Why We Avoid Feeling Our Feelings
We were taught that certain emotions are “bad” or “too much”
Emotional expression was unsafe growing up
We fear being consumed by big feelings
We’ve developed coping mechanisms like numbing, overthinking, or fixing
What It Actually Looks Like to Feel Your Feelings
Noticing the Emotional Signal You might start with a body sensation (tight chest, lump in throat) or a thought (“I can’t handle this”).
Staying Present With It This is the hardest part. Set a timer for 90 seconds and just breathe with the emotion. Don’t analyze. Don’t push it away. Just let it be there.
Naming It Gently “This feels like sadness.” “I think I’m grieving.” Labeling helps your brain make sense of the chaos.
Choosing Compassion Over Control Instead of judging yourself for feeling “too much,” respond with care. Try: “Of course I feel this way. That makes sense.”
Letting It Move Emotions have a lifespan. Cry, write, walk, shake, anything that helps the energy move through.
What It’s Not
Wallowing or spiraling for hours
Telling yourself why you shouldn’t feel this way
Forcing closure or silver linings
How Therapy Supports This Work Emotional processing is vulnerable. In therapy, we create space to:
Safely feel what you were never allowed to before
Build tolerance for emotional discomfort
Develop regulation tools for big emotional waves
Feeling your feelings is a practice of emotional fluency. It’s messy, real, and freeing. When you let yourself be with your emotions, you build trust with yourself and open the door to deeper healing.
Want to reconnect with your emotional world and stop shutting yourself down? Let’s work together to help you feel your feelings safely and fully.